I remember when I was a little girl growing up with my 2 brothers and 3 sisters. We were all so close. We would have fought a circle saw for each other. Family picnics; fishing; camping; game nights; going to six Flags; etc.
As we grew up, we grew apart somehow. We used to do good to get together on Easter, Thanksgiving, and Christmas. My parents passed away and we experienced some family misunderstandings and before you know it I ended up on the outside looking in. I was not included in Holidays this year, but thankfully I have one of the most awesome husbands (soul-mates) in the world.
It really hurt when I realized I have no interactive siblings anymore. The glue (my parents) are gone. I tried to reach out, but the devil had his way and slammed the heavy door so tight that I can not budge it. I feel abandoned.
So I lift my head high and trudge on. What hurts you is not worth begging for. The past is the past and if the door gets opened it will not be by me, as my fingers are bloody from trying. I have to put the pain, hurt and depression behind me. But my love for them will always be in my heart. Maybe someday Satan will back away and the family train will finally get back on the track.